Cancel the pity party! How to Bounce Back from Disappointment

When you try something new to improve your situation but it doesn’t work, do you get lost in negative self-talk and start losing your momentum and drive?

Or when you feel like you’ve tried everything and nothing’s working, do you get stuck in a rut and find it difficult to get going again?

Well, cancel the pity party because Adrian has 3 steps to bounce back from disappointment stronger than ever!

We cover on this video


Hi, this is Adrian back with more strategies for helping you get your shit together. 

I’m on the beautiful Dachstein glacier in Austria, Europe – snowboarding with my family – and I’m focusing today on mindset, or how to get your state of mind right.

Why? Because there’s no shortage around of information and advice on how to get healthy. Yet many of us spend much of our time feeling depressed, discouraged and disappointed that we’re not making enough progress or any progress at all with our health problems, AND equally in other areas of life.

Some experts say that getting the result you want is 20% action and 80% mindset. I agree!

That means you can know intellectually what you need to do, but

  • you don’t start
  • you don’t take consistent action
  • you can’t shake your bad habits
  • you take action and it doesn’t work immediately or at all, and you feel disappointed and you give up. This is the one I’m going to focus on right now.

Perhaps you’re dealing with a really challenging gut-related problem like irritable bowel syndrome or one of the many horrible autoimmune diseases, or maybe you’re struggling to control your weight, or you have a mental health condition like anxiety or depression.

So you read up about a particular area and learn some information, or you go and see a medical or diet practitioner. Then you put a new plan into action. You feel excited that you’re going to get some relief from your chronic problem, your spirits are up.

But it doesn’t work, nothing happens, maybe the situation gets even worse.

Then you think ‘I’ve tried everything, nothing works, I’m going to be sick, fat and unhappy forever! I just want to curl up and die!’

Negative Emotions Set In

Disappointment, frustration, anger, despair sets in. It’s time for a pity-party. What does that lead to?

– You blame yourself

– You tell yourself a negative story like:

  • I’m not clever enough
  • Life sucks, everything is an endless struggle
  • Health and happiness is just a thing other people have.

In the moment this feels like the truth but it isn’t. It’s just a story that rapidly puts limits on your life.

This negativity then flows outwards and we get mad and mean at other people.

But there’s another way! You follow these 3 steps:

1) You say to yourself: What can I learn?

Write out at least 2 or 3 things you’ve learned. The process of writing them down helps to get them clear in your mind and remember them later.

The lessons have to be something positive and specific like: ‘I need to stop eating junk food and start taking a probiotic consistently’, not just ‘life is awful’ or ‘never trust anyone’.

If you don’t know what the lesson is, put together a strategy to find out. Seek out someone who’s succeeded in this area (maybe a health or life coach), get their input or follow their strategies.

2) You say to yourself: Oh wow I feel grateful for this opportunity to learn and grow AGAIN!

When you’re in a dark place and you say this to yourself, at first it might sound insincere and sarcastic. To begin with it’s a case of: fake it till you make it. But keep repeating it to yourself. Soon you will notice a slight shift in your thinking and mood. Your brain will start finding the crucial lessons that will get you unstuck.

3) Catch yourself falling into a cycle of self-blame:

‘I cannot believe I did that! What a doofus!’ or blaming others: ‘How can they treat me like that?’

It’s not about BLAME, it’s about you taking RESPONSIBILITY. What’s the difference? Blame is just pure negativity, either directed at yourself or at others. Responsibility is about accepting you made a mistake, figuring out what the lesson is and resolving to be better next time

It’s about deciding to be better than you were yesterday: by doing your best, apologising wholeheartedly where necessary, learning and growing.

By the way this doesn’t just apply to disappointment with your body and health. We also suffer enormous disappointments in other areas of life such as relationships, family, finances, and these same principles apply.

own it

I’ve recently had a relationship + financial situation (combined) where it’s felt like I’ve made mistake after mistake. It’s been very easy to fall back into self-hate and giving up.

But with this strategy, no matter how matter how many times life hits with another blow, I’ve been able to bounce back stronger than ever, and so will you!

So to recap, the 3 steps for bouncing back from disappointment are:

1. Think: what can I learn? Write out at least 2 or 3 specific, positive things

2. Say to yourself: Thank you for this opportunity to learn + grow! You probably won’t mean it at first, but keep repeating it!

3. Catch yourself falling into BLAME, and instead take RESPONSIBILITY

Working with a coach is one of the very best ways to turn your mindset around, accelerate your progress and achieve massive results. We have a small but elite team of gut health coaches, ready to work with you. They’ve struggled in the past with their own gut issues and come out the other side. They’ve made all the mistakes so you don’t need to!

They’ve also done endless hours of academic training and working with clients, honing their skills. If you’re ready to take your health journey to the next level, check out our 1-on-1 Coaching

And check out some of our most popular posts:

Weight Loss: Is The Secret In Your Bacteria?

Inflammation: Putting Out The Fire

A Quick Guide To Fasting


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